Monday, January 6, 2020

(Very) Dead Or Alive



Bring your paper bag

Okay. I admit it. I like stupid fighting movies. But to enjoy this one you need a frontal lobotomy. No. Make that two lobotomies, one is simply not sufficient. Okay, perhaps some fighting scenes are just palpable, but my oh my, that still doesn't redeem this movie.

I've never played any of those games but I do hope they are better than the movie. Much better...

Well... after a little googling I came to the conclusion that the DOA games (and especially DOA Ultimate)  target the same market as this movie does. Many people will enjoy, that's for sure.


Movies like this are aimed at a very specific demographic group, which could be described (in Dutch) with three keywords:

  • Schieten
  • Tieten
  • Bandieten

Could you believe I actually watched this movie begin to end?!? And didn't puke. Not once.

I must be made of stern material!

Tips for watching

As for watching DOA...

There's a trick to watching this kind of movie: don't care. Now normally that would be considered a waste of time, but here's the trick: do some working out, exercising on a cross-trainer or some other puffing and sweating and brain numbing apparatus... Then this actually helps to ease the pain... 😂

It's just as bad as the now almost legendary Mortal Kombat movie. The one thing DOA has over Mortal Kombat is that I'd rather watch some pretty girls doing swordplay or cat fighting than watching the muscles from Brussels falling flat on his face...

The Verdict

Skip it.

Dapper / TellTales! 49

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