The following is a completely dishonest, biased, male-viewpoint, misogynistic, unfair and unhinged :-) approach to writing romance. So, take it for what it is: a very cynical outlook on (broken) hearts.
And before I start: there is nothing wrong with reading or writing romance! If you like it, go for it! It's not better or worse than other genre, in any way.
Romance
So... Romance. I know I'm not good at it, but... it can be learned. Google a bit, listen to some podcasts, and they will give you some decent hints. Good romance, I mean Good Romance is a genre by itself. Most males won't touch it with a ten foot pole, and yet nearly every story, show, and movie, has a romantic (sub)plot, a love interest.
So yes, dear males! You're just as much a victim of circumstances (and hormones) as the gals! Though it seems your triggers are different.
Who reads this stuff?
The numbers differ a bit, but based on what I could find I'd say around 80% of the readers are female.
Men can't write women!
As one Twitch DJ said...
"A man can't write romances. That his just him gratifying his own selfish desires subconsciously!"
Even though, by that logic, everything a writer writes would fall under that category
So, women can't write (about) men, and men can't write (about) women? That's an extreme point of view, and it would implicate no one can write about wizards (because we ain't wizards, you know) or aliens (no aliens, nossir) or foreigners (because we're not them you know).
That would only leave us to write about ourselves, and let's be honest: how well do we know ourselves? And should we bother others with who we are?
Nah. Let's have some fun instead.
Non-romance
First a silly, non-romantic bit, because I believe it's always good to be aware of oneself, and how relative everything is.
The King, the Queen, the Prince and the Pirate were sharing a table. The pirate had his eyes on the king's son, and he and the lad exchanged some steamy glances. One might get lucky, the pirate decided. Perhaps the deal would fall through, but the bed might be warm tonight.
"So..." The King mused, "if I don't pay the ransom, you will do unspeakable things to my daughter and never return her?"
Captain Violet looked thoughtful. "I'd rather do unspeakable things to your son. He's a good looking lad." He winked at the young prince before facing the King again. "But if it helps to quicken up the process, I'm sure the Bosun can find an interested sailor or two for her. I assume she is beautiful, fair of skin, well endowed, and still has all her teeth, yes?"
Trophy
Let's give it a try. Here's a bit from something I'm working on:
"You should have taken him to a doctor!" I tell Suey and Lug. "There's no telling what he did, he might suffer an overdose, or alcohol poisoning. He's been drinking and eating pills!"
"Just paracetamol," Lug shrugs.
I kneel next to the couch and move my hand in front of David's eyes. "Which also affects the liver, just like alcohol does. Guys, I don't want to be the one responsible for -"
"What's going on?" a voice asks.
I look up. It's Camelia, dressed in nothing but her hair.
Lug stares, then he starts coughing. His face turns a deep scarlet.
Camelia walks over to the couch, and bends over to study David. She sniffs before nodding. "He's going to be okay." She straightens up and stretches. "I smell coffee," she says.
"You're aware you're not wearing any clothes?" Suey points out.
Camelia tilts her head and smiles. "I never wear anything when I sleep," she says, "and neither does Ellen. But, if it makes you feel more comfortable…" She shrugs. She walks back to my sleeping room, a little swing in her hips that I never noticed before.
"That's not true…" I stammer, desperately trying not to stare myself.
"Need sleep… and… painkillers," David mutters and then starts snoring.
Lug can't help himself. He's watching Camelia's shapely behind. And so do I.
"She's mine," I growl.
It's mostly written from a male perspective, even though the narrator is female. There's a little steam but not that much love. There's a proud protag, claiming a girl. Is it romance? Not really.
Tension
Let's dial up the tension a bit.
Michael takes a deep breath. He looks away for a moment, and I dread the moment he will get up and walk away. But then his gaze returns to me and our eyes lock.
"Wanna play a game?" he asks in a soft voice.
I can't answer. I can't breathe. Shivers creep up and down my spine.
"It’s called 'House' and I’ve played it for a long time now," he says, gently taking my hand and lacing his fingers through mine. "And there’s one thing I haven’t been able to do.”
"Which is?" I whisper.
He gently pulls me closer until a mere breath distances our lips.
Now we're getting there. Make things almost happen, but keep them a tantalizing little bit out of reach. From that perspective there is little difference between a thriller and a romance. In a thriller we play with the truth and lives, and a romance we play with feelings and hearths.
Part of the fun is skirting the lines. Do things that are inappropriate, show emotions we'd normally hide. Lust for the forbidden, the impossible.
Green versus Purple
In my unsophisticated mind there appear to be two trains of thought when it comes to romance. It's either a subplot (we'll call that the 'green' way of thinking) or it's what it is all about (the 'purple' line). We could also call them male and female.
These colors and terms are randomly selected. They're just labels, and I could have used 'blue' and 'pink' as well, okay? Even the colors are picked at random!
Anyway...
Male - score, claim, trophy, protect - she's the dream, and he's willing to do everything to keep her (and show her off to his friends), lots of competition (which ladies do even more than the boys)
Female - attention - she gets the attention she deserves, and he's willing to do everything FOR her, including keeping his abs rock hard, always bringing flowers, and his poems are steamy
Again, ignore the genders, it's just two basic cliches. You can come up with more yourself.
My cynical mind has concluded that 90% of all relations and romances are covered by those two types. I had a lot of fun discussing this with my daughter where we both reached the conclusion that the purple category craves attention, and the green group wants to be heroes and show off.
(If you don't believe me, then check the blurbs of most popular romance novels. I'm not making this up...)
So, if all involved parties are aware and agree, then simply give them what they want and go for it 🙂
Giving them what they want
Romance readers are looking for romance stories. They like to be surprised, but they NEED the romance component. Sadly, there are only so many ways to break a heart, so in a certain sense many romance stories will be slightly different retellings. But then again, in a way, so are alien invasions or car chases.
So to attract that all-devouring romance reader you may have to give them what they want, which may not be what you like to write, and that's the point where you have to decide: are you happy with what you are writing, or have to write, to sell your wares? I'll leave that up to you.
(See also 'Selling Out' at the end of this post.)
Popular settings / tropes in romance
Go on Amazon, and look for the top ten of books sold in the genre you want to work in (in this case romance) and read the blurbs. There's a certain pattern emerging, which changes over time, but which shows the more popular themes. In the last couple of years, the following settings were and are popular:
- forbidden love
- chose between two lovers
- poor girl / rich man
- vampires / werewolves / supernatural
- mysterious stranger
- selling out for money / honor
- kidnappings (the Mafia boss kidnapped me as a plaything for his son)
- boy bands (mostly K-pop)
- love triangles
- lack of / too much money
- brother / sister (family) tension
- opposites attract
- enemy to lover
- bad boy
- best friend's friend
- reverse harem
- billionaire hiring nanny
- rent a date / fiancee / spouse
- dominators (alpha stuff)
- is he gay, or not?
- evil bitch stealing the boyfriend
Not exactly a setting, but same gender relationships sell well, although they appear mostly to be secondary characters.
(This is just my personal observation. I don't care what relations people maintain, it's just what I see and read.)
Female x female in action novels, oriented towards the 'green' group, may include protagonist
Male x male in romance novels, oriented towards the 'purple' group, mostly secondary characters
Many male readers dislike M x M relations, but have no problems with F x F pairings. Many female readers love M x M stories, and are less interested in F x F. I'll leave any conclusions up to you.
Many stories feature a same-gender relation in the background. (See also 'Selling Out' at the end of this post.)
Plot
Romance, in it's most bare form, is a relation between two or more characters, no matter the gender. To keep the story interesting, their relationship must develop during the telling, and resonate with the reader.
It's not about bringing people together, it's about keeping them apart!
Story structure
- meet
- tension
- together
- break apart
- together again
Obviously there are many alternative takes, but most romances typically end on Happily Ever After.
We'll have at least one of each of the following events, in no particular order:
- hope
- betrayal
- hardship
- keeping a secret
- misunderstanding
- mistake
- guilt
- doubt
- coming out
- first kiss
- some big change / event / accident
Character traits
- use conflicting / opposing character traits (timid vs. outspoken, etc.)
- give the characters a common challenge (they love coffee, hate their famity, whatever)
Steamy... or not
Question: how steamy (adult) should things get?
The answer: just as far as you dare to go, feel comfortable with, and matches what your readers want.
Note: physical isn't the same as steamy. Heart rates, cold sweat, those things are common, and don't forget to include them. Full adult scenes are something else, but I'm surprised how far some novels dare to go.
Does your romance novel need explicit sex? A lot can be done by simply implying stuff off-camera, the 'fade to black' approach.
It's time for the elephant in the room: giving up your principles because it sells better.
First of all, why do you write?
1. You write for fun. You mostly like to explore the stories and the characters. If so, this whole paragraph doesn't apply to you. Congratulations.
2. You write to make a point. Novels are a good way to introduce concepts like same-sex relations, gender fluidity, and other relational and sexual aspects.
3. You write for reads. You're not into it for the money, but you like the responses, the fandom, the 'thank yous' from those millions (okay, hundreds) of readers.
4. You write for money. It's simple, you need as many people to read your books as possible, and you seriously each and every aspect to attract more readers.
Each writer has to work out for him / herself what is acceptable, and what is not. Do you dare to sell your soul for that one extra reader / sale? How far do you go? Are you willing to introduce other characters / relations just to sell more? And is that bad?
The Dishonest Writer
... will make the protagonist female, in a F x F relation to get the boys on board
... will add an M x M relation in the background, to keep the girls interested
... will include a transgender and a pansexual character for the LGBTQ+ readers
And all of the above, not because they serve the story, but because it sells better.
You could call these writers out, but when you consider it, it's just another form of marketing, such as the cover of a book. Or the packaging of a perfume. The cut of a dress. Or the styling of a car. They're all designed to appeal to (potential) customers.
Is that dishonest? Yes, in the way that every kind of branding is effectively dishonest. They're selling us an image, an idea of something, which can be quite different from the actual item you receive.
That's why it's a bit silly to accuse writer 'x' for including element 'y'. Many writers are simply supplying that for which there is demand. As a reader we can simply select something else to read when we don't like what the writer wrote.
Remember, readers, you can always vote with your feet.
Wattpad
... has an interesting page on what readers expect, and typical elements belonging to different categories of romances. Read more...
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