Saturday, February 11, 2023

The Headphones Made Me Do It - Dear Republican (nope, this is NOT about politics but Formula 1!)

Column / Formula 1.

I like F1. I like the drama surrounding it, the games, the challenges, the emotions. Racing is more than just fastest man + fastest machine = certain win. As in any sport, drama plays a major role. Well, at least I believe it should be.

It certainly shouldn't be all about 'hate', and now that's exactly what's happening since 2019, which culminated in outright death treats in 2021 after the final race of the 2021 season 

Some self proclaimed 'fans' are so narrow minded they keep repeating their view on reality in endless posts on every forum, unable to understand that others disagree with their point of view. One of those is 'Republican' who thinks he is funny. But... he isn't.


Mercedes

Mercedes has been very successful in the hybrid age, largely thanks to their incredible engine. Of course, Hamilton is a good driver as well, but... in the eyes of some, he is the second coming, mister perfect, the one that can do nothing wrong. Now I admire the technical cunning and driver quality of Mercedes and number 44, but I absolutely despise the mind games they play. I'm also convinced Hamilton isn't a nice guy. None of the drivers are, I guess, but number 44 is taking the mind games one step too far.

And people still swallow it wholesale. People still moan about the 2021 and 2022 season, they kiss his photograph before going to sleep, and say RB cheated every step of the way.

Did they? That's not for me to decide (but as far as I can tell no rules were broken and nobody was caught lying, as opposed to number 44 in 2009).

But damn, people, it's all a show. Entertainment. My favorite race still might be Hockenheim 2019, closely followed by Baku 2021 and Abu Dhabi 2021. They were entertaining.

Most sports are just that: entertainment. Do we really need to resort to accusations of racism and whatnot, simply because your favorite driver didn't win?

Sigh.


Whiner

Disclaimer: this has nothing to do with the Republicans, but with some British bloke who probably still lives in his mom's basement, and who can't let go. He just keeps rehashing the same lines. Over and over and over and over and over and over again.

Repeating a wish ad nauseum doesn't make it true, though politicians seem to try every year.

In Republican's defense, I have to add that he isn't as much an F1 fan as the user called 'Chloe' who dislikes Verstappen because he hasn't got a decent mustache... right. If that's a representative slice of F1 fandom then perhaps I should start watching... Euh... Korfbal? Curling? Mowing the grass?

To be honest, my little dig below is perhaps a little more of the mud-throwing going on, but at least I tried to be somewhat creative. So, Republican... if someone whines about something endlessly, it's either to reinforce their own narrative, because they can't come up with something more intelligent, or because they are 4 years old trying to get another lollipop.

So, here's my take on LH and MB, and I hope I have been able to sin more creatively than you do...

(To the melody of House of the Rising Sun, as performed by The Headphones Made Me Do It... though it works just as well as a poem.)


The Headphones Made Me Do It - Dear Republican


There is a dude in old England

They call Republican

He whines all day about RB

And calls himself a fan


When Hammy pulled a Britney

Drove someone off again

Rep said that is all legal

'Cause Hammy's just the man


His hero won seven titles

A rocket at his back

An upstart came to challenge him

Now Hammy's lost on track


Instead of cheering for the win

All Hammy's fans can do

's complain about the other teams

'Cause Hammy's reign is through


So challenge Massi and Abudabi

Throw shades at RB's wings

Doubt honesty and financial wit

Say lots of nasty things


But here's the fact, look in the books

Nobody can deny

The one that took the crown away

Is no one but 'that guy'


No need for Bottas' slavery

To have an engine best

Most wins, most points, most poles is all

So give your cause a rest.


Now raise your glass to once what was

The wizard of Baku

He'll never get his octal crown

Dear George makes sure it's true


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